Birthday card from myself

Birth is the beginning of death and just another round in samsara so not really anything to celebrate. Obviously a precious human birth with the freedoms and riches, tl;dr the opportunity to practice Dharma is somewhat different.

But really how much use have you made of this opportunity?

First you were born to two of the kindest people on the planet, yet you repaid them by firstly by causing your mother tremendous physical pain during pregnancy and birth. Both your parents suffered a great deal of emotional pain and worry even before you were born, yet this did not stop them doing everything to prepare for your arrival, both by altering their diets so you would be as healthy as possible and making the house ready. In the process not only did they make great sacrifices on your behalf, but they also generated negative karma for themselves in the process, yet you show zero appreciation for this?

Once you were born you were entirely reliant on them for food and so on, yet all you did was cry, deprive them of sleep through noise or physically waking them up. Yet they still loved you more than themselves and gave you everything.

Throughout your life you met many different people and had many different experiences, yet all the time you were only concerned with your own happiness and gratification, in the process you accumulated karma that will no-doubt send you to the lower realms yet again. Still you insist on generating more of this. Why are you so attached to suffering?

Then after wasting just over two decades of your life you somehow miraculously encountered the holy Dharma. You received the vows of refuge, which are the source of all good qualities and happiness in this and future lives, from Padmasambhava taking the form of a Yogi Bhikkshu who treated you as his son, yet you have entirely failed to emulate even a fraction of the qualities of a sub-atomic particle in his body.

They say the blessing of taking refuge is immense and within a year you had been face to face with numerous realised beings such as the Dalai Lama and the Protector of beings, Gyalwa Karmapa. You received initiations, oral instructions and vows to liberate all sentient beings without exception. How much have you done with any of this other than effect a poor charicature of a practitioner?

Then generous strangers and and the kindness of your main teacher combined to let you assume to robes of a monk and enter closed retreat. In retreat your accomplishments were quite something. Not only did you disturb serious yogis, but you also caused all manner of headaches for the caretaker.

After generating this chaos, you left almost as soon as you had arrived because you wanted to put your penis inside some woman. Once again, your teacher was patient and forgiving and not only let you continue your scamlike practice, he also gave this woman refuge and instructions which lead to Buddhahood.

You then spent six years living with this woman, who generally supported you in every way, including sending you on yearly retreats whilst you did nothing other than really treat her like a piece of meat, yet you lecture others on how badly they maintain their root samayas?

Having then exhausted the shared karma which had brought you together, you then went to live in the holy land of India. Here over qualified Khenpos and Tulkus of the Kagyu and Nyingma traditions gave up their free time to instruct you personally, yet you did nothing but hold them in contempt and try to deceive them with clever words to disguise your laziness. The teachings and empowerments you recieved you display as ornaments in your ongoing game of playing at Vajrayana. Even if you are oblivious to the lower realms which await you, at least stop being an obstacle to others practice and instead consider helping them and encouraging them.

Coming back you then wasted the opportunity at more academic study of Dharma by driking and chasing women. Having access to volumes of Dharma texts, you instead chose to read things which would make you sound clever, at least in your own mind.

When all this was done, you again through the kindness of your parents teachers, got the opportunity to study, this time in the land where the Buddha was born. Before going everyone encouraged you, including Gyalwa Karmapa and your main teachers. On arrival you were more or less placed in the lap of some of the greatest living teachers, yet once again you are failing to grasp the opportunity in your hands.

All being said, you have now for three and a half decades done nothing but cause harm to sentient beings and generate the causes for your own future suffering. Let me be more specific and give an example. Some years ago you took a vow not to eat meat in this life, oddly considering your lack of discipline and resolve you have actually kept this vow. This would be good if it wasn't for you turning this into another ego-display piece, and worse using it to make others feel bad for eating meat whilst you feel superior. You do this, yet feel no shame?

Everyday you have the best food, a nice room, teaching opportunities in two monasteries of good lineage, friends who are supportive, yet you do nothing but complain and waste time.

Through the blessing of your Gurus and some accidental past merit, you have access to many teachers as well as the connections and language skills to make the most of them. If you are not going to do so, will you at least help those who are sincere in their search and practice of Dharma?

Everything good you have experienced in this life has been through the kindness of others, please appreciate this at some point and make what little is left of your life meaningful.

This afternoon, an excellent Yogi Loppon is again giving up his free time to instruct you individually in a genuinely profound practice, yet you are sitting there thinking of excuses so you can go drinking instead. People would kill to have a percent of the opportunities you have, make something of them before it's too late!

All the pleasures you are chasing are as reliable as mist on the mountainside, they are like ghosts that will only lead you to the lower realms again. Stop taking yourself so seriously, remove the stick from your ass and actually do something for others. Writing self-indulgent, faux pious crap like the above is helping nobody. However should you even for a few minutes sincerely make an effort to wish to make your life for the benefit of others there will be some value it, and your life will become meaningful.