Various thoughts on sectarianism and conformity.

A potential PHD topic is sectarianism in Tibetan Buddhism. This is a pretty sensitive subject in some ways, but also one that can't really go untouched. A few times in D'sala I felt it was the elephant in the room.

My own exeriences of it really come from a position on vulnerable insecurity. When one lacks certainity based on experience rather than internalising, it is easier to externalise and project this onto the world. By talking down others views and convincing others of the 'rightness' of ones own view there is a fake sense of confidence built up. Like anything that is false and built up, it is bound to end in tears.

Add groupthink to the situation and the disaster multiplies. As Shantideva says "nothing good will come from the meeting of two fools". If sectarianist views are taking root in one group, it can affect the whole group like a cancer. This is where conformity comes in.

Conformity is generally the seemingly easy option. No only in "spiritual" circles, but political ones too. And it is never a good thing. Buddha taught to examine his teachings and not simply accept them.

On the more worldy side I found some interresting blogs this week where various self-indetified Anarchists where trying to convince others that their Anarchism was the true path as it were, and sadly lots of commenters were agreeing as part of the community rather than challenging the basis of the initial argument which was simply dogma, with no real authority backing it.

Back on the religious front there is an awesome quote in the Hagakure. It sort of sums up some of my limited understanding of sectarianism.

"The Way

It is bad when one thing becomes two. One should not look for anything else in the Way of the Samurai. It is the same for anything that is called a Way. If one understands things in this manner, he should be able to hear about all ways and be more and more in accord with his own."

Another chapter finished

All my exams are now over and I'm faced with a summer of dissertation writing, which I'm relishing. I have a load of Padmasambhava related books I've only been able to dip into for essays which I will be engrossing myself in as of tomorrow morning.

I'm also doing a couple of days retreat in the near future, as well as loads of picnics, walks and gardening.

I went to see The Cup today at the Barbican. It was really good, although all the scenes filmed on the road from Bir made me want to be back there pretty badly. They also screened a short documentary about the making of the film which was awesome.

NOW!!

"This very moment is the watershed between the right and wrong direction of your entire existence. This opportunity is like finding something to eat when you have only had one meal in a hundred throughout your whole life. So make use of the Dharma to free yourself while you still can, taking death as your spur at all times. Cut short your plans for this life, and diligently try to practice good and give up evil – even at the risk of your life. Follow an authentic teacher and accept whatever he tells you without hesitation. Give yourself, in body and mind, to the Three Jewels. When happiness comes recognise it as their compassion. When suffering comes, recognise it as the result of your own past actions. Apply yourself to the practices of accumulation and purification with the perfectly pure motivation of Bodhicitta. Ultimately, through immaculate devotion and samaya, unite you mind indissolubly with that of a sublime teacher in an authentic lineage. Capture the stronghold of the absolute in this very life, courageously taking on the responsibility of freeing all beings, our old mothers, from samsara’s dungeon. This includes all the most crucial instructions." - From Words of My Perfect Teacher by Patrul Rinpoche.

Great success

Yesterday I got my independent research project and Buddhist Rituals essays back, along with my oral exam. Did really well, particularly on the irp, which was on Ngondro practice, which had apparently increased my supervisors understanding or knowledge about it.

This is all good stuff right?

Sort of. I take criticism and outright attacks pretty well but not quite so when it comes to praise. Both "praise and blame" are only issues when grasped, solidified and given dualistic power.

On a personal level, I've found studying certain topics very helpful for my own so called practice. Intellectual understanding can iron out doubts arising from lack of understanding of the mechanics of certain aspects of practice and to a lesser extent increasing determination.

Whilst I feel really fortunate to have this opportunity, it really does pale into insignificance compared with meditational practice.

My final exam is on Friday. I've decided to take a week off before starting dissertation work.

Going in the right direction

Recently I've been thinking a lot about taking robes again. It's been really healthy, relaxed and sort of organic. There is no sense of stressed urgency or it being something I 'ought' to do.

I have no obligations holding me back and it's not like I have a burning desire to get married and have a family. I never have wanted that really, and all my long term relationships have happened accidentally when I wasn't looking.

I asked Gyalwa Karmapa about taking robes back in January last year. His response was that I should think about it after retreat. Retreat will entail temporary ordination so this makes a lot of obvious sense.

On the subject of retreat I'm feeling very relaxed about it. I know it is perfectly possible that I won't be able to do it due to not getting the funds together in time or any number of other things that could become an obstacle. But I'm happily aspiring towards it without a huge ammount of attachment.

One of the things that went very wrong the last time was my practice being pretty much non-existent before going in. Now it's the opposite. It's been very consistent for the last few years so that retreat would seem much less of a shock to the system and in some ways simply an extension of what I do daily.

Mothers Day

I'm being lazy and simly re-posting an awesome poem by Ranjung Dorje, the Thrid Gyalwa Karmapa. May it be of benefit.

REPAYING THE KINDNESS OF MY MOTHER
by the Third Karmapa Rangjung Dorje

OM MANI PADME HUM
I prostrate to the Noble Master Chenrezig!

OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

There is nothing to be said more profound than this:

Dear mother, you protected me lovingly when I was small
You taught me with love and told me sweet words
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

You fed me from your mouth and wiped my feces away with your hand
You picked me up on your lap again and again -
My kind mother wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

The end of birth is surely death
Even powerful humans don't have the slightest power to remain [forever]
When departing alone, [only] the sacred dharma will [be of] benefit -
[My kind mothers] wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

The end of collecting is surely loss
Even the greediest person will be unable to take anything along
When departing alone, only the sacred dharma will [be of] benefit -
[My kind mothers] wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

Mother, when you are going to depart alone from here
I pray that you, I, and Chenrezig will meet!
My kind mother wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

I pay homage to lama and protector Manjushri!
Wherever in the three realms the six kinds of beings are born,
their birth is of four kinds:
Except for miraculous birth, a body is formed in dependence on
a father and a mother.
Due to karmic forces, you conceived and carried me for nine months
and ten days -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When the life force impelled my embryo to come out
You suffered the bone-wracking pain of contractions -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When I was born your body became covered with blood, lymph, pus,
and milk -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When my skin and bones were feeble and not fully formed
You picked me up with gentle hands -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When I had pus in my eyes or other organs
You licked it off with your soft tongue -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

Even when my specks of feces came into your mouth
You were not disgusted -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

You always held me tight, like in the gentle warmth of your belly -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When sleep rendered us unconscious at night
I would interrupt your sleep many times -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

You took me on your lap and cuddled me -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

You cheered me up and made me so happy -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

Whenever I was wriggling and crying, you tirelessly gave me your
breast to suck -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When my eyes were tightly closed by sleep
You swiftly protected me from heat and cold -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When I crawled on all fours like an animal
You taught me how to walk on my feet -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When I was three years old
You kept an eye on me wherever I went -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When I was five years old
You showed me how to dress myself properly -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

When I was ten years old
You taught me how to understand and decide things -
My kind mothers wandering in the three samsaric realms, oh no!
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

Your mind was one-pointedly focused [on my welfare] -
My kind mothers wandering in the three pitiful samsaric realms
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

[Throughout,] you were always calm and fair -
My kind mothers wandering in the three pitiful samsaric realms
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

You gave your permission when it was time for me to leave -
My kind mothers wandering in the three pitiful samsaric realms
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

[Because of your love] I became independent after I had left you -
My kind mothers wandering in the three pitiful samsaric realms
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

If sudden disasters were to carry you off -
My kind mothers wandering in the three pitiful samsaric realms
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

And you would end up in some unknown place -
My kind mothers wandering in the three pitiful samsaric realms
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

May our minds become ultimately inseparable -
My kind mothers wandering in the three pitiful samsaric realms
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

Dear mother, do not be angry when I say this:
My thoughts go to you again and again
And your kind acts make me weep -
My kind mothers wandering in the three pitiful samsaric realms
May I guide you on Chenrezig's path. OM MANI PADME HUM HRIH

Mother, when it is time for your mind to leave this body
May you be born in a supremely blissful state and
Having been born there, may you attain the heart of enlightenment
Having attained that, may you act for the benefit of all beings

Words of vast and deep meaning break my heart.
Vajradhara in the pure realm of Akanishta,
And Pema Jungne in Ngayab Ling,
Please let the ability to repay the kindness of my mothers
Awaken in me, Palden Karmapa of the Snowy Regions.

Always suffering

Buddhism teaches Dukkha, translated as suffering, pain or unsatisfactoriness as the first of the Four Noble Truths. Buddha is quoted as saying his teaching was 'suffering and it's cessation'.

In the Tibetan tradition the suffering of samsara is generally classified into three categories; the suffering of suffering, the suffering of change and the suffering of all conditioned existence. The suffering of suffering includes physical and mental pain in the form of sickness, ageing and death. The intensity of this type of suffering varies according to individual experience, but is said to be greater in the lower samsaric realms. The suffering of change is being separated from what you find pleasant and encountering that which you find unpleasant. This is a form of suffering experienced even by beings in higher realms, and one which human beings experience constantly in various forms. The third form of suffering is very subtle and known as all-pervasive suffering. It can be described as having everything, yet not being content.

According to Gampopa only the spiritually mature with some degree of realisation can really understand this experientially. He likens the difference in how this suffering is experienced by an ordinary person and a spiritually mature person to the difference between feeling a hair in the palm of the hand compared to feeling it in the eye.

Understanding suffering is essential to the development of compassion and Bodhicitta, however simply doing so on an intellectual and abstract level is not sufficient, we have to actually realise it through personal experience. And there were lots of reminders of samsara today, a child dying of cancer, a woman in despair over her boyfriend being depressed, lonely old people in my street afraid to go out and then there are the global crises.

Once we become aware of suffering on a deeper level, we can develop renunciation and compassion.

Nothing lasts

Recently I got some almost out of the blue e-mail from various people I've not had contact with for a while. We talked about various things that have happened over the last decade or so. Whilst enjoying the nostalgia, it really made me aware of how

There are things, people and places that once played an important part of my life that are gone forever, never to be seen again.

To some extent this shouldn't come as a shock or anything, change is after all the only constant. But in the modern Westernised world this is somewhat of a taboo subject, especially when it comes to our own inevitable and approaching death. Barely over a hundred years ago people would die at home, now they are hidden away in sanitised death factories.

Sadly it's not just the final reality of death that is hidden from view. Our whole culture now is one of convenience and comfort, which ties us intimately into the cult of youth whilst ironically pushing the planet closer to breaking point both socially and ecologically.

I think our collective discomfort with impermanence is what is making Buddhism in the West relatively weak. Sure there are retreat centres and temples around, but a lot of the time these can simply become playgrounds of spiritual materialism, or even spiritual capitalism. I’m confident spiritual materialism is one of the things which fuels the attractiveness of numerous quick enlightenment packages on offer, particularly the misconception that things like Ngondro are something which is an obstacle to be gotten over and out of the way.

Meditation on impermanence from a personal perspective should probably be performed daily by everyone wishing to engage in any sort of serious practice. By serious I mean something other than simply meditation as a health supplement.

It really is essential to understand that impermanence here isn’t a doctrine to be understood intellectually as an abstract concept, or something to be believe in as an article of faith, but rather it is to be experienced and internalised as this will then make us more able to deal with it as it arises in everyday experience and be less affected by it as well as being mindful that the opportunity to engage in spiritual practice is itself not something to be taken for granted and as such must be prioritised. Can you say you won’t die tonight?

First post of the night

I was still in India this time last year. I wasn't looking forward to coming back at all, but it hasn't been as bad as I had imagined and getting attached is never a helpful thing.

On the topic of attachment, I've noticed how easy it is to get attached to non-attachment, particularly when approaching from a meditational or philosophical angle. I'm very attached to my non-attachment.