I've hit a bit of a low the last few days. All brought about by a combination of wondering what the fuck I'm doing this degree for, frustration of not being able to help a couple of people and huge uncertainties about retreat and future practice in general.

Then there is the longer running issue of having spent a disproportionate amount of time and energy on maintaining relationships with a generally fickle and shallow groups of friends, rather than focusing on the friendships that have some deeper value to them, even if it's just the level of conversation. Unintentional ironic snobbery aside, what's really unhelpful here is the level of emotional attachment I place on arbitrary and constantly changing concepts. Today's friend is tomorrows enemy and vice versa.

If I approach the world in a less attached and more open way, with the attitude of friendliness towards everyone, instead of one of evaluation and judgment, then genuine experience becomes much more likely.