Schools out

On this auspicious day, we finished Patrul Rinpoche's "Brilliant Sun", a commentary on the Bodhicaryavatara.

In the Hagekure, imagining being shaken to death by a great earthquake is listed as part of a general meditation on inevitable death. Last night I was awake when I felt two aftershocks from a quake up near the border. I've experienced earthquakes before, but not quite like this. A nice little reminder of what is important.

I want a clean slate. Ironically that's exactly what we have all the time, but we insist on putting all kinds of crap on it. This isn't something to blame ourselves or anyone for, it's just a bad habit.

This week we briefly covered generosity with Lama Pema in the class on Patrul Rinpoche's "A Brilliant Sun". There is no way I can really comment on this, but I am noticing how badly misdirected my own attempts at practicing this paramita can be, nto so much in the material sense, but rather in terms of the generosity of "emotional availability" and time when neither are really that important or appropriate.

All the Mahayana perfections need to be practiced in the context of the four thoughts that turn the mind to Dharma, unless genuine renunciation is actually present and they need to be practiced with impartiality, otherwise it's another ego game, and like Gampopa said "Dharma practiced incorrectly can become a further cause of samsara".

So after roughly two weeks of being sick on and off I've decided to actually take medicine rather than go with the "letting it wear itself out" approach.

This week, and over the weekend, I definitely noticed an improvement in my Tibetan. Due to studying all the time, I'm sort of worried that this blog will just turn into a blog about that, which is annoying as I'm feeling very inspired to write again, but simply don't have the time.

Despite feeling the most de-motivated I have for a long time this morning, I did some "extra" practice and it helped put me in a more positive mindset. I'm definitely making progress and it seems I will be able to stay here a while longer and continue studying.

Also as well as reminding myself that rejoicing in others happiness equals more happiness for myself, it's also worth remembering that some people are just nice.